Bellowing Dexter gets the sack

At first we thought it was just a phase – perhaps our large Dexter steer was bellowing because he missed his old farm, give it a few weeks and he’d settle in. Earplugs at the ready we did our best to rise above the noise and avoid eye contact with our nearest neighbours.

Time passed and the bellowing continued. Many proper local farmers were consulted and close inspections were made to check that he had been properly castrated and wasn’t ‘bulling’ – shouting for a girlfriend to cheer him up. He didn’t seem to be in distress, just incredibly noisy.
Even the most specialised forums online were unable to provide answers.

Here’s a short clip of Jacob at work: play this on repeat for a day or two to fully experience the effects.

Jacob doing his bit to get us off the village Christmas card lists

I’m afraid to say that after four weeks there was nothing for it – he had to go. It was too soon to eat him, everyone said, so we agreed to swap him for an equivalent beast, once one had been sourced. We weren’t sorry to see him go – even Boris didn’t seem to care. Peace was restored to the village.

Update: It turned out it wasn’t too soon – checking his passport later revealed that Jacob had been swiftly despatched to the abbatoir. His replacement is a much younger girl, we’ve named her Andrea, obvs.

Boris trades his mate in for a younger model

Lessons learned: we should have silenced him by putting him in the freezer. Another 4 months might have been ideal for flavour, but now we’ve got to wait another year before beef is on the menu.

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